An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the north zone, São Paulo

São Paulo, and I am not the warm welcome you were promised

Posted as colder_in_every_sense

Looking for
a submissive who prefers reserve to enthusiasm
Experience
Seventeen years leading, three dynamics, all local.
Around
the north zone, São Paulo

Everybody arrives in this city expecting to be swept into somebody's kitchen by the end of the first week, and a good number of people here will do exactly that. I will not. I am not cold. I am simply not going to be your friend in an afternoon, and if that reads as coldness then we will both have to live with it.

Forty two, São Paulo, dominant, seventeen years. I am saying this at the start because a good part of the messages I get are from people who arrive with an idea of what this is going to feel like, and mine is quiet, undemonstrative and slow.

What I run is domestic and long. Standing rules, service, correction that is spoken and unemotional. I do not raise my voice. I do not do anything theatrical. I have never once used a title and would find it embarrassing.

Three dynamics, all with people from this city, the longest running eight years.

What I want is a submissive who finds restraint reassuring rather than distant. Somebody who does not need constant reassurance, who can be told something once, and who will say plainly when something is wrong instead of waiting for me to notice.

I live alone, I can host, my hours are regular and almost all my free time is spent indoors, which is when I am at my most available.

I would want a few weeks of writing first and then a meeting in daylight. I am not quick to warm up and I do not apologise for it any more.

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