An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the centre, São Paulo

I want your evenings, not your whole life, and there is a difference

Posted as evenings_not_lives

Looking for
a submissive who wants a defined arrangement rather than a takeover
Experience
Ten years leading, three dynamics, all of them limited on purpose.
Around
the centre, São Paulo

A lot of what gets written about this describes total arrangements: someone's whole day, all their decisions, every part of their week. I have no interest in running anybody's life. I am not qualified and I do not want the responsibility and I think a surprising number of people who ask for it are asking for something else.

Thirty six, São Paulo, dominant, ten years. What I want is bounded. Two evenings a week and one weekend a month, with real structure inside those hours and almost none outside them. You make your own decisions about your work, your money, your friends and what you eat. I have opinions about none of it.

Inside the hours, I am demanding and precise and I expect to be obeyed without a discussion. Outside them we are two adults who like each other.

Three dynamics on that basis, the longest four years, and every one of them ended for reasons unrelated to the design.

I am aware this disappoints people who want something total, and I would rather disappoint them in the first message. It is not a stage I will grow out of and it is not caution.

I live alone in the centre, I can host, and my work is demanding and predictable.

I am happy to spend a couple of months getting to know somebody first. Almost everybody here seems to want that and I have come to agree with them, though I was the opposite at twenty six.

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