Out of a twenty year marriage and starting from nothing
Posted as learning_it_again
- Looking for
- somebody kind about a person who is out of date
- Experience
- Six years in my twenties, then twenty years of nothing.
- Around
- Vila Madalena, São Paulo
I did all of this between twenty two and twenty eight, then I got married to somebody who would have been horrified by it, and I put it away for twenty years, and now I am forty four and divorced and standing in front of it again.
Everything has changed. Not the substance, the language. Half the words people use now I have had to look up, and the way people talk about consent and negotiation is enormously better than anything I remember and also completely unfamiliar. I turn up with experience that is partly useless.
Forty four, São Paulo, switch, and I am not certain about the ratio any more because the person I was at twenty six may not be much guide.
What I want is somebody patient with a man who is half beginner and half not. Some things I know in my body and will never need explained. Other things I will get wrong in ways that are two decades out of date, and I would rather be corrected briskly than tiptoed around.
I am not looking for anything fast. I did fast at twenty five and it was fine and I am not twenty five.
I live alone now, I can host, and my time is genuinely my own for the first time in two decades, which is both the best and the strangest part of all this.
I would like to be friends first, and I would also like to meet people generally, because divorce took most of my social circle with it.