An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the east zone, São Paulo

The far edge of this city, where everything interesting is two hours away

Posted as two_buses_and_a_train

Looking for
somebody who will accept that I arrive twice a month at most
Experience
Seven years, both directions, mostly conducted in writing.
Around
the east zone, São Paulo

I live at the very end of the line, past the last station anybody has heard of, and getting to the middle of this city is two buses and a train and the better part of two hours. That is the whole practical situation and everything else in this post follows from it.

Thirty six, São Paulo, switch, seven years. Most of that has been in writing, with two people, one of whom I met four times in two years and who I would still describe as the most significant relationship of my adult life.

What I can offer is: a very long correspondence, daily and real, a call whenever it suits, and a weekend in the middle of the city twice a month if the work allows, which between January and April it does not.

What I cannot offer is presence. I am not going to be at anything, I am not going to drop round, and I will miss things that matter to you.

I lead slightly more than I follow. I am interested in rules, in restraint and in the strange intensity that a long distance arrangement can produce and which nobody who has not done it believes in.

Discretion here is absolute and not by choice. On a street like mine there is no such thing as an unnoticed visitor, and everybody around here manages every part of their life around that fact, not only this part.

If you have done a distance arrangement before and found it worked, please write. If you have not, I would rather you thought about it for a week before you did.

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