Too small to be anonymous, too big to know everybody
Posted as middle_sized_problem
- Looking for
- one person here, or anywhere along the same line
- Experience
- Five years, both directions, two short dynamics.
- Around
- the east zone, São Paulo
The part of this city I live in has about four hundred thousand people in it, which turns out to be exactly the worst size for this. Too big for there to be a circle everybody is in. Too small for anything to be anonymous. I have twice recognised somebody from work on a board like this and both times we pretended it had not happened.
Thirty, São Paulo, switch, five years. Two short dynamics, neither of which got past six months, both of which ended in the ordinary way of people drifting.
The other thing about being out here is that everybody assumes I should just come into the middle of town, which is two hours in the evening and which nobody there has ever offered to do in reverse.
What I want is one person, here or anywhere along the same line, for something regular rather than occasional. I lead a bit more than I follow. I like rope and rules and being made to wait, and I have almost no interest in pain in either direction.
I work in a depot and my hours rotate, which is worth saying because it makes weekday afternoons possible and some weekends impossible.
I live alone in a small place near the station and I can host.
I would like to be friends first and I would like it to be unhurried. I have watched both my previous attempts go quickly and then quietly stop, and I have a theory that the two are connected.
If you are here and you have had the same experience of recognising somebody, write to me. We can be awkward about it together.