An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the centre, São Paulo

I am not going to be the person who fixes your life

Posted as not_your_therapist

Looking for
a submissive who is already well and wants to be led anyway
Experience
Sixteen years leading, three dynamics, one of them exhausting.
Around
the centre, São Paulo

About a third of the messages I receive are, underneath the wording, an application for someone to take over the running of a life that has gone wrong. I understand the impulse completely and I have twice said yes to it, and both times it took a year to unpick and neither person ended up better off.

Forty three, São Paulo, dominant, sixteen years. What I am saying is not that I want somebody without difficulties. Everybody has difficulties. I am saying that I am not a treatment, and that a dynamic which is holding a person together is not a dynamic, it is a job, and I am not qualified for it.

What I want is somebody who is already managing. Who has their own friends, their own income, their own way of dealing with a bad month, and who wants to hand over a defined part of their life to me because it is a pleasure rather than because it is a rescue.

Inside that, what I offer is proper structure. Standing rules, service, daily contact, correction that is consistent, and a great deal of attention.

I am warm in person and blunt in writing and people find the combination confusing at first.

I am in the centre, I live alone, I work regular hours.

If you are in a bad stretch right now, that is not a permanent no, and I would rather you wrote to me in a year. I have said that to two people and one of them did, and it is one of the better things that has happened to me.

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