One of us has done this for years and one of us has not
Posted as one_of_us_is_new
- Looking for
- patient people who will talk to both of us equally
- Experience
- Together five years. Twelve years for one of us, five months for the other.
- Around
- the south zone, São Paulo
I have been in this since I was twenty four. She found out about it two years into our relationship, thought about it for three more, and five months ago said she wanted to try. That gap is the whole reason for this post and it is the thing we most need people to be careful about.
We are two women in São Paulo, thirty six and thirty one, together five years. I lead, in theory, though what has actually happened in five months is that we have both discovered how much I had forgotten about being a beginner.
What we are looking for is people to know. Other couples, or experienced individuals, who would be willing to spend time with us and answer questions and let her hear about this from somebody who is not her partner. That last part matters enormously to us. She has one source of information about all of this and it is the person she is doing it with, and neither of us thinks that is healthy.
We are not looking for anybody to play with, at least not now. Perhaps later, and it would be a long conversation.
We are sociable, we are out most weekends, we can host and we like feeding people.
What we would ask is that you talk to her as much as to me. It has happened twice already that somebody addressed everything to the experienced one, and both times she went quiet for the rest of the evening, and both times I noticed too late.