I need to know what is going to happen or I cannot come
Posted as send_me_the_plan
- Looking for
- a dominant who will tell me the plan in advance, in writing
- Experience
- Four years, two dynamics, both ended over surprises.
- Around
- the east zone, São Paulo
Anxiety is the reason for this post and I am going to name it in the first line rather than let it emerge as a series of strange requests. If I do not know what is going to happen, where, for how long and how it ends, I will spend three days dreading it and then cancel. I have done it enough times to stop pretending it is a scheduling problem.
Thirty seven, São Paulo, submissive, four years. Both of my dynamics ended around the point where the other person decided that unpredictability would be good for me. In both cases they meant well. In both cases I disappeared instead of explaining, which is the part I am responsible for.
What works: being told in advance. Where we are meeting, roughly what the evening contains, what time it finishes. It does not have to be detailed. It has to exist.
What is interesting is that inside that structure I am not cautious at all. Once I know the shape of a thing I will go a long way into it. People are often surprised by the gap between how careful I am beforehand and how little I hesitate once we have started.
I want rules, service and correction. Nothing that involves being kept in the dark as a technique.
I live alone in the east, I can host, and I work a normal week.
I write clearly and I answer quickly, and I will tell you when something is not working rather than going quiet, which is the promise I most need to keep.