Before anything else we would like to talk about jealousy
Posted as the_jealousy_conversation
- Looking for
- a couple who will be honest about what this actually costs
- Experience
- Together twenty years, four of them with other people involved.
- Around
- the west zone, São Paulo
Four years ago we opened this part of our life up and the thing nobody warned us about was not the logistics or the negotiation. It was that jealousy does not arrive when you expect it. It arrived, for me, over a text message that was funnier than the ones I get, and it took two months to admit.
We are forty four and forty six, São Paulo, together twenty years. He leads, I do not.
We have survived it, and we are better at it now, and what we have concluded is that the couples we get on with are the ones who will discuss this honestly rather than presenting themselves as people who have transcended it. Nobody has transcended it. Some people have simply built a way of talking about it before it happens.
So what we want is a couple who will have that conversation early, at length, with all four people present. After that: friendship, dinners, months of it, and possibly something more much later.
We are in the west zone, we can host, and we are free most weekends.
We would want both of you writing. We would want to meet in public several times. And we would want an agreement, early, that any one of the four of us can stop the whole thing without having to justify it, which is the rule that has saved us twice.
If that sounds heavy for a personal advertisement, it is, and we have decided that is better than the alternative.