São Paulo, and I am generally the only Black woman in the room
Posted as usually_the_only_one
- Looking for
- somebody who has thought about this before I bring it up
- Experience
- Eleven years, both directions, two dynamics of several years.
- Around
- Vila Madalena, São Paulo
In a city this size, I have spent eleven years being the only Black woman in almost every gathering connected to this that I have walked into. I am not saying that with any heat. I am saying it because it is the most consistent feature of my experience and because I would rather it were on the table before the first coffee.
Thirty nine, São Paulo, switch, eleven years. Two dynamics of real length, one of five years.
What it means practically is that I have developed a fairly quick sense of who is interested in me and who is interested in an idea, and that I have stopped being polite about the difference. The tell is usually in the first three messages and it is almost never deliberate.
What I want is one person, over years, either direction. I lead a bit more than I follow. I am interested in rope, in structure and in service, and much less in pain.
I would also be glad to know other people generally, because eleven years is a long time to be the only one of something.
I live alone in the city, I can host, and I work irregular hours in an industry that empties out in the low season.
I am warm and blunt and I make friends easily, and I would like to be friends first because that has always been how this has worked for me.
Not looking for anybody who needs to tell me how beautiful my skin is in the second message. It has happened enough times to be a genre.