Twelve years with one person, ended in March, and everything feels strange
Posted as after_the_long_one
- Looking for
- a few daylight coffees while I work out what I still want
- Experience
- Twelve years, all of it with the same person, none of it on a board.
- Around
- the eastern suburbs, Sydney
Twelve years with one person, ended in March. I am not going to write about why. What matters here is that I have not been on a board like this since I was twenty six and every part of it feels strange.
Thirty nine, the eastern suburbs, switch, and technically very experienced, which is as misleading as it always is when all of somebody's experience comes from one person.
I am moving slowly and I want to explain why, because slow gets misread. I do not want to be talked out of anything or hurried into it. I am also not fragile and I am not looking for somebody to be careful with me. Those two things are usually assumed to travel together and in my case they do not.
What I want eventually is another long thing, both directions, with a great deal of ordinary life inside it. What I want now is to meet a few people, in daylight, and find out how any of it feels. I genuinely do not know whether I want the same things I wanted at twenty seven and I am not going to perform a certainty I do not have.
Not looking for anybody who wants to hear the story. Not looking for a rebound, and I am aware that is precisely what somebody in my position would say. Not looking to be moved into somebody's expectations by the third conversation.