Twenty years on one side, two years of being terrible at the other
Posted as hopeless_the_other_way
- Looking for
- somebody experienced who will let me lead badly and say so
- Experience
- Twenty years bottoming, two years failing to top, and improving slowly.
- Around
- the north shore, Sydney
I have been on the receiving end of this for twenty years and I am completely confident there. Two years ago I tried the other side and discovered that I am hopeless at it, and rather than quietly dropping it I have decided to get good, which is what this post is about.
Forty five, the north shore. What I am after is somebody experienced to learn from. Not a dynamic in which I am led, I have two decades of that. I mean somebody who will let me lead badly at first and then tell me honestly what I got wrong, which is a strange and specific thing to ask of a stranger.
What I get wrong, as far as I can tell: I ask too many questions in the moment, I lose the thread when somebody responds in a way I had not anticipated, and I apologise constantly. All three are the habits of a person who has spent twenty years on the other side, and they are stubborn.
I am not looking to stop bottoming. Ideally I would find one person for both, though I suspect that is a great deal to ask and I am open to two separate arrangements.
Not looking for anybody who wants to be topped by a beginner as a novelty, which has been offered and is not the same thing at all. Not looking for anybody who will be gracious about my mistakes rather than direct about them.