I am everybody's first and nobody's second, and I am done with it
Posted as everyones_first
- Looking for
- somebody with real experience who knows what they are choosing
- Experience
- Seventeen years, and four beginners in a row who left once confident.
- Around
- the inner west, Sydney
I am everybody's first and nobody's second. I have worked this out over about four years and I am going to say it plainly rather than pretend I have not noticed.
Forty four, the inner west, dominant, seventeen years in. What happens is this. Somebody new writes to me. They are nervous, they have never done any of it, they want somebody patient and careful, and I am both of those things. Six months later they have confidence and vocabulary and a clear sense of what they like, and they leave, usually kindly, for somebody who wants the same intensity they now want.
I do not begrudge any of them and three are still friends. But four in a row is not luck. It is a role I have accidentally taken on, and I am declining it.
So I am looking for somebody with experience. Somebody who has been in at least one real dynamic and knows how they behave inside one. I want to be the person you choose after you know what you are choosing, rather than the safe first step towards it.
I lead firmly and I like protocol. I can host in the inner west. I am after something long, in which two years would be a start and not an achievement. Not looking for beginners, and I am sorry to be so flat about it. Not looking for anybody currently working out whether they are submissive. Not looking to be told that this time would be different.