Twenty five years of hiding it, and I will not do that again
Posted as no_more_secrets
- Looking for
- a submissive for something long, warm and able to acknowledge itself
- Experience
- Most of my adult life, hidden for all but the last three years.
- Around
- the inner west, Sydney
Twenty five years of marriage with this hidden inside it, and when it ended I promised myself I would never again have a dynamic that has to be a secret. That is the whole of this post and everything else is detail.
Fifty five, the inner west, dominant, in this for most of my adult life and openly for three years. My children know, in general terms and without detail. Two of my friends know properly. It is not a campaign and I am not asking anybody to be public about anything. I am saying that I will not be somebody's compartment again.
What that means in practice: I will not be an arrangement that exists only when a partner is away. I will not be introduced as a colleague. I will not have a relationship that cannot acknowledge itself out loud to at least a few people. If you are partnered and it is genuinely open and known, that is a completely different thing and we can talk.
What I want otherwise is one submissive for something long and warm. I lead in a domestic, continuous way rather than in scenes. I am affectionate, which surprises people who expect otherwise.
Not looking for anybody currently keeping this from a spouse. Not looking to be an experiment during a separation. Not looking to argue about it, because I spent twenty five years having the other version of this conversation with myself.