Good company nine months a year, and honest about the other three
Posted as quiet_in_january
- Looking for
- somebody who does not need much reassurance in the dark months
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic that made it through a winter and one that did not.
- Around
- the west end, Toronto
Between the first week of January and roughly the middle of March I am not much use to anybody. It is not a mood I can be jollied out of and it is not caused by anything in particular. The light goes and I go with it, and I have spent about six years learning to plan around that instead of being surprised by it every year.
Twenty eight, the west end, dominant, four years in. Nine months of the year I am energetic, attentive and honestly quite fun. In those ten weeks I still keep my commitments, but I am slower, I write less, and I do not want to go anywhere at all.
I am telling you because the last two people found out in the middle of it and both concluded it was about them. It was not about them and it will not be about you, and saying so in advance is the only way I know to make it survivable.
What helps: a submissive who does not need a great deal of reassurance, who can hold a structure with a lighter hand on it for a while, and who is content for the arrangement to continue in a smaller shape rather than pause.
What I want the rest of the year is something long and reasonably intense, with real attention on both sides. Not looking for anybody who wants to fix this. Not looking for daily contact in winter, which I cannot promise. Not looking for somebody who will say they understand and then take it personally in February.