Two weekends a month, a house in the 905, and a real place in it
Posted as shovel_and_list
- Looking for
- somebody who wants a defined role in a household rather than a visit
- Experience
- Nineteen years together, eleven with a structure, one arrangement of five years.
- Around
- the 905, Toronto
Two weekends a month, a house in the 905, and a genuine place in a household rather than a visit. That is what we are describing, and we want to describe it properly, because arrangements like this get written up in a way that makes them sound either grim or grand and it is neither.
Forty seven and fifty, together nineteen years, the last eleven with a structure inside the marriage. We have had one long arrangement before, five years, which ended when she moved for family reasons and with whom we still speak most weeks.
What it actually looks like: arriving on a Friday evening, a set of standing responsibilities across the weekend, meals together, and a great deal of unremarkable time. In the winter half of the year the house needs more looking after than it does in summer, and the person who was with us before said the January weekends were her favourite, which surprised us both.
Nothing here is a job and nothing changes hands in either direction. It is a role in a household, freely taken, reviewed every few months, and endable by anybody at any point.
We move slowly. Several meetings in public with all three of us before anything is agreed at all. Not looking for anybody who wants to live here. Not looking for somebody with nothing else in their life. Not looking for anybody who reads a defined role as a lack of affection, because last time it was the opposite.